To all the people who offered advice and encouragement, thank you.
Lessons learned:
Watch the first few layers and check in frequently. Not sure how I'll know that I can have more confidence in it at any point, but maybe I'll just stay paranoid.
Clean the plate.
Watch the first few layers.
Brass wire brushes are your friend, blobs foe, and an energized thermistor wire's "enemy of my enemy."
Heat guns get hot and wear my damn welding gloves. I got them for a reason.
Watch the first few layers.
Operator action is preferred to automatic system response.
Some anatomy of my tool head. (Cleaned for her pleasure).
Don't forget to watch the first few layers.
When the fan is at 100% and the sock isn't on, the nozzle struggles to maintain temperature.
I should have reached out to bambu before buying replacement parts because now I will effectively get store credit instead of free parts.
There's a handful of gatekeepers here that think being upset about something that looks this bad before you realize it's a simple fix is a sign that this hobby is way too complicated.
It's also important to watch the first few layers.
This community is actually pretty cool and posting here had a lot of people giving the obvious answer (make hot, apply light force) but a lot of people threw in their own little nugget of knowledge and I love that shit.
Spare parts in the mail and I intend to put the old ones back in the blob for decoration, but I'm proud I could get it to at least work this well before replacing the parts and gave myself some confidence and familiarity with my machine. Replacement parts are cheap enough I don't need to be scared to try new things.
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