Early Monday morning, while many of us will be putting the finishing touches — or just beginning, ahem — on our Christmas preparations, solar scientists will hold their collective breath as they wait for word from the Parker Solar Probe’s record-setting passage through the sun’s atmosphere. The probe, which has been in a highly elliptical solar orbit since its 2018 launch, has been getting occasional gravitational nudges by close encounters with Venus. This has moved the perihelion ever closer to the sun’s surface, and on Monday morning it will make its closest approach yet, a mere 6.1 million kilometers from the roiling photosphere. That will put it inside the corona, the sun’s extremely energetic atmosphere, which we normally only see during total eclipses. Traveling at almost 700,000 kilometers per hour, it won’t be there very long, and it’ll be doing everything it needs to do autonomously since the high-energy plasma of the corona and the eight-light-minute distance makes remote control impossible. It’ll be a few days before communications are re-established and the data downloaded, which will make a nice present for the solar science community to unwrap.

While Parker has been in a similar position on previous orbits and even managed a fortuitous transit of a coronal mass ejection, this pass will be closer and faster than any previous approach. It’s the speed that really grabs our attention, though, as Parker will be traveling at a small but significant fraction of the speed of light for a bit. That makes us wonder if there was any need for mission planners to allow for relativistic effects. We’d imagine so; satellite navigation systems need to take relativity into account to work, and they don’t move anywhere near as fast as Parker. Time will be running slower for Parker at those speeds, and it sure seems like that could muck things up, especially regarding autonomous operation.

Ever since the seminal work of Cameron, Hamilton, Schwarzenegger, et al, it has been taken as canon that the end of humanity will come about when the moral equivalent of SkyNet becomes self-aware and launches all the missiles at once to blot us out with a few minutes of thermonuclear fire. But it looks like AI might be trying to raise an army of grumpy teenagers if this lawsuit over violence-inciting chatbots is any indication. The federal product liability lawsuit targets Character.AI, an outfit that creates LLM-powered chatbots for kids, for allegedly telling kids to do some pretty sketchy stuff. You can read the details in the story, but suffice it to say that one of the chatbots was none too pleased with someone’s parents for imposing screen time rules and hinted rather strongly about how the child should deal with them. The chat logs of that interaction and others that are part of the suit are pretty dark, but probably no darker than the advice that most teenagers would get online from their carbon-based friends. That’s the thing about chatbots; when an LLM is trained with online interactions, you pretty much know what’s going to come out.

In today’s “Who could have seen that coming?” segment, we have a story about how drivers are hacked by digital license plates and are keen to avoid tolls and tickets. The exploit for one specific brand of plate, Reviver, and while it does require physical access to the plates, it doesn’t take much more than the standard reverse engineering tools and skills to pull off. Once the plates are jailbroken — an ironic term given that license plate manufacturing has historically been a prison industry — the displayed numbers can be changed at will with a smartphone app. The worst part about this is that the vulnerability is baked right into the silicon, so there’s nothing to be patched; the plates would have to be recalled, and different hardware would need to be reissued. We’ve been skeptical about the need for these plates from the beginning and questioned why anyone would pay extra for them (last item). But maybe the ability to dump your traffic cam violations into someone else’s lap is worth the extra $20 a month.

And finally, this local news story from Great Falls, Montana, is a timely reminder of how machine tools can mess up your life if you let them. Machinist Butch Olson was alone at work in his machine shop back on December 6 when the sleeve of his jacket got caught in a lathe. The powerful machine pulled his arm in and threatened to turn him to a bloody pulp, but somehow, he managed to brace himself against the bed. He fought the lathe for 20 whole minutes before the motor finally gave out, which let him disentangle himself and get some help. He ended up with a broken back, four fractured ribs, and an arm that looks “like hamburger” according to his sister. That’s a high price to pay, but at least Butch gets to brag that he fought a lathe and won.