OK, sit down, everyone — we don’t want you falling over and hurting yourself when you learn the news that actually yes, your phone has been listening to your conversations all along. Shocking, we know, but that certainly seems to be what an outfit called Cox Media Group (CMG) does with its “Active Listening” software, according to a leaked slide deck that was used to pitch potential investors. The gist is that the software uses a smartphone’s microphone to listen to conversations and pick out keywords that it feeds to its partners, namely Google, Facebook, and Amazon so that they can target you with directed advertisements. Ever have an IRL conversation about something totally random only to start seeing references to that subject pop up where they never did before? We sure have, and while “relationship mining” seemed like a more parsimonious explanation back in 2017, the state of tech makes eavesdropping far more plausible today. Then there’s the whole thing of basically being caught red-handed. The Big Three all huffed and puffed about how they were shocked, SHOCKED to learn that this was going on, with reactions ranging from outright denial of ever partnering with CMG to quietly severing their relationship with the company. So much for years of gaslighting on this.

In other dystopian news, the American Radio Relay League just wrote a $1 million check to end a ransomware attack. According to an ARRL statement, unidentified “threat actors” found their way into computer systems at the group’s Newington, Connecticut headquarters and related cloud-based systems, which allowed them to install encryption packages on laptops, desktops, and servers running a variety of operating systems. The ARRL’s crisis team managed to talk the cyberattackers down from their original demand of several million dollars to just a million, which all things considered was probably the path of least resistance and lowest cost. It’s a shame that things have come to that, but here we are.

The long saga of Starliner’s first crewed test flight is finally over, as the beleaguered spacecraft pushed back from the International Space Station and headed back to a midnight landing in New Mexico on Saturday. The return was sans crew, of course, with NASA being unwilling to risk the lives of astronauts Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore in a spacecraft that hadn’t really performed up to snuff on the way up to the ISS. As if the leaky thrusters weren’t enough, just before the hatches were closed Wilmore reported weird noises coming from a speaker in Starliner. He managed to capture the sounds on his mic for Mission Control, which for all the world sounded like someone repeatedly banging on a pipe in the distance. The weird thing about the sound is the regularity, which sounded a little faster than one per second. We’re keen to see if NASA shares any in-depth engineering information on this and all the other Starliner anomalies now that the craft is back on the ground.

If you’ve ever had to do extensive overhead work, such as sanding or painting ceilings, or working under a car on a lift, you know the burn that starts to set in after just a short while of holding your arms over your head. Up to now, the only way to fix that was either hit the gym and work on upper body strength, or find another way to make a living. But now that we’re living in the future, you can just strap on your own exoskeleton backpack and take a load off the robotic way. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the ExoActive exoskeleton comes from Festool, best known for its wonderfully well-engineered premium tools that often command a premium price. The ExoActive is battery-powered and straps on like a backpack with extensions that support the upper arms. It can be set to different work heights and provides a boost in lifting power, taking some of the weight off your shoulder girdle and transmitting it to your lower back. Unlike other exoskeletons we’ve seen breathless press releases for, this one seems like something you can buy right now. Sure, it’s expensive, but it’s a fraction of the cost of shoulder surgery.

And finally, Animagraffs is back with an incredibly detailed look inside the inner workings of a 16th-century sailing vessel. The video really captures what it took to build vessels that could (just barely) sail around the world for the first time. We loved the explanation of the rigging, especially the differences between the standing rigging and the running rigging. If you don’t know your clewline from your backstay, this Blender tour de force will set you straight.

Why is it always a helium leak? It seems whenever there’s a scrubbed launch or a narrowly averted disaster, space exploration just can’t get past the problems of helium plumbing. We’ve had a bunch of helium problems lately, most famously with the leaks in Starliner’s thruster system that have prevented astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams from returning to Earth in the spacecraft, leaving them on an extended mission to the ISS. Ironically, the launch itself was troubled by a helium leak before the rocket ever left the ground. More recently, the Polaris Dawn mission, which is supposed to feature the first spacewalk by a private crew, was scrubbed by SpaceX due to a helium leak on the launch tower. And to round out the helium woes, we now have news that the Peregrine mission, which was supposed to carry the first commercial lander to the lunar surface but instead ended up burning up in the atmosphere and crashing into the Pacific, failed due to — you guessed it — a helium leak.

Thankfully, there’s a bit more technical detail on that last one; it seems that a helium pressure control valve, designated PCV2 and controlling helium to pressurize an oxidizer tank, got stuck open thanks to “vibration-induced relaxation” in threaded components within the valve. So, launch vibrations shook a screw loose inside the valve, which kept it from sealing and over-pressurized an oxidizer tank with helium to the point of tank failure — kablooie, end of mission. All of these failures are just another way of saying that space travel is really, really hard, of course. But still, with helium woes figuring so prominently in so many failures, we’re left wondering if there might not be an upside to finding something else to pressurize tanks.

Back on terra firma, we got a tip from a reader going by the name of [Walrus] who is alarmed by an apparent trend in the electronics testing market toward a subscription model for the software needed to run modern test gear. Specifically, the tip included a link to a reseller offering a deal on an “Ultimate Software Bundle” for Tektronix 4 Series Mixed-Signal Oscilloscopes. The offer expired at the end of 2023 and prices aren’t mentioned, but given that a discount of up to $5,670 with purchase of a scope was advertised, we’d imagine the Ultimate Software Bundle comes at a pretty steep price. The chief concern [Walrus] expressed was about the possibility that used instruments whose software is tied to a subscription may have little to no value in the secondary market, where many up-and-coming engineers shop for affordable gear. We haven’t had any personal experience with subscription models for test equipment software, and a quick read of the Tektronix site seems to suggest that subscriptions are only one of the models available for licensing instrument software. Still, the world seems to be moving to one where everything costs something forever, and that the days of a “one and done” purchase are going away. We’d love to hear your thoughts on subscription software for test gear, especially if we’ve misread the situation with Tek. Sound off in the comments below.

In this week’s edition of “Dystopia Watch,” we’re alarmed by a story about how police departments are experimenting with generative AI to assist officers in report writing. The product, called Draft One, is from Axon, a public safety technology concern best known for its body-worn cameras and tasers. Using Azure OpenAI, Draft One transcribes the audio from body cam footage and generates a “draft narrative” of an officer’s interaction with the public. The draft is then reviewed by the officer, presumably corrected if needed, and sent on to a second reviewer before becoming the official report. Axon reports that it had to adjust the LLM’s settings to keep AI hallucinations from becoming part of the narrative. While we can see how this would be a huge benefit to officers, who generally loathe everything about report writing, and would get them back out on patrol rather than sitting in a parking lot tapping at a keyboard, we can also see how this could go completely sideways in a hurry. All it will take is one moderately competent defense attorney getting an officer to admit under oath that the words of the report were not written by him or her, and this whole thing goes away.

And finally, getting three (or more) monitors to all agree on what white is can be quite a chore, and not just a little enraging for the slightly obsessive-compulsive — it’s one of the reasons we favor dark mode so much, to be honest. Luckily, if you need a screen full of nothing but #FFFFFF pixels so you can adjust color balance in your multi-monitor setup, it’s as easy as calling up a web page. The White Screen Tool does one thing — paints all the pixels on the screen whatever color you want. If you need all white, it’s just a click away — no need to start up MS Paint or GIMP and futz around with making it bezel-to-bezel. There are plenty of other presets, if white isn’t your thing, plus a couple of fun animated screens that imitate Windows update screens — let the office hijinks begin! You can also set custom colors, which is nice; might we suggest #1A1A1A and #F3BF10?